You have no idea how much a fangirl squeal when I see new ideas from you for this story. xD
Oooh, yeah. I definitely like your villain creation idea better. Franc's new human form can still be enjoyed, and Chaos flea is introduced unbeknownst to the main characters! Just one of those really big "...UH-OH" moments that makes it obvious some real crazy shiz is about to go down.
And Chaos is just damn chilling. I really love his character already. <3
The way you come up with scenarios makes me feel inadequate. I could never come up with the things you do. xD Anyway, the third encounter is really cute (and Franc gaping at the couple making out cracked me up so bad, lol). It definitely gives Raoul a better/more of a reason to approach the girl when she's at the cabaret later on.
The only little snag I noticed was that if you're going with that second encounter where Franc and the girl briefly exchange looks, wouldn't she recognize him in the bookstore? It'd be one of those "Hey, you're that guy!" moments, and then awkwardness would ensue. So perhaps that second encounter could be tweaked a little to make it so that she still notices him, but she wouldn't be able to recognize him later on. Though, the only way I could imagine that happening would be if it was night and Franc was in darker clothing (a costume for a different performance or something?), his scarf partially covering his face, and he'd be a bit more hunched/crouched so his height wouldn't give him away later. (It's whatever you prefer/come up with. I'm just tossing out ideas. xD )
EDIT: Wait, or is she supposed to recognize him, but she just doesn't bring it up? I was really tired when I read through that and responded to it (still am tired, lol!) but I'm not sure if something went over my head or not. Haaaaa...
Lol, just thought I'd toss a name out there. It popped into my mind quickly. Perhaps write Melody like Mélody. (Don't know if you're familiar with French pronunciation or not but just in case, "Mélody" would be pronounced "MAY-loh-dee." Firefox's spell check is telling me it's not a real name, but whatevz. xD) Hunting for names is good! Perhaps over time a name will come to you that just fits her really well.
Hummmm, considering what you've provided so far about Chaos I don't think he'd care one tiny bit about those thugs. I get the feeling he'd use them, abuse them, then kill them off once they're no longer useful to him. As the story progresses he seems to be growing more and more malicious, from being afraid to interact with humans, to turning them into a food source, then using them to do his dirty work.
So what if it's dark? This story is your brainchild, you can raise it however you please! And I'm sure there are people here who like dark stuff (like me!). Just go with whatever you feel like doing. You could get by with simply implying the terrible things Chaos does (although the part of me that's a bit of a macabre fan wouldn't mind if there was more than that. Lol~ )
Ohmy, The Great Mouse Detective. I haven't seen that movie in ages but I still remember that ugly mug! xD How dare Disney scar you for life! D: xD
Haha I'm glad you enjoy reading my thoughts for this.
Though I got to admit, alot of this is my "AFTER MIDNIGHT" thoughts. You know how everything seems funnier and better when you are half asleep? This is what happens to me. It will be even better when this is actually drawn out.
And I like that name alot!!
When I wrote this, I was expecting her to recognize him, that is probably why she says "You like VVV too," even though he is halfways gone out of the isle. It means she had noticed him pick up the book, cause there is no way she could have seen the book when his back is facing her.
I think she is abit of a sly fox. ;D But she isn't someone to hold a grudge, as presented with giving the pickpocket boy a large amount of money. Also, I think she wanted to keep him around longer with her by discussing the book, whether he was really interested or not. But then she can't stop talking because in her mind she probably forgave him for being rude, and now she gets to talk about her favorite subject thinking that maybe he likes(or will like begin to understand and likes) it too.
I think that is part of her main quality, she is a talker(somewhat like Charlotte from Princess and the Frog. Mixed with alittle bit of smart charm of Blanche from Golden Girls, though not a maneater.) She thinks things through, but at the same time her impulsiveness gives her away to speaking everything on her mind. Probably why she is out on the bench the first encounter chattering away to herself, cause no one else wants to listen. The good news is, that this doesn't happen often so she isn't annoying and she is sincere about it. She only does this when she is extremely mad, or extremely excited. Other than that, she sometimes gets embarrassed,takes a breath, and stops herself.
I think it is a good thing that Franc is great for her, is that she is a talker, Franc comes off as more of a listener than a talker. Considering most of the time when he was a bug, all he did was chirp,pantomime and listen. I think he would be a shy guy if he was human, but give his opinions when asked. He may even have childlike expressions, exploring and doing new things as a human.
I actually really look forward to thinking up some of the dates they go out on.
Hmmm I came up with a nifty little way to make the Chaos screw everything up.
But before I get to that, I would like to introduce Chaos to Franc.
Franc(as a flea) gets done with the Cabaret, and has a giant bouquet of flowers in his hand from the performance. Raoul leaves with him, and takes a guess "who are the flowers for? Could they be for Mélody?"
Franc smiles and nods.
Raoul:
I'm sure she will love them. Man I'm proud of you, you big guy. I hope you enjoy your big date tomorrow. -waves at him goodbye as he heads to his car- Tell me the details! -stops and smiles deviously- Or don't~ -makes kissey faces as he hops in his car-
Franc shakes his head, and super flea jumps, while holding his flowers close to him. As he jumps over a dark alley, Chaos looks up, and sees Franc fly over.
Chaos: "What the....?"
Chaos super flea jumps out of the alley and catches up with Franc.
Chaos: "What the?! How the?! There are more of us?!
"
Franc chirps in shock, lands on a cathedral, and stops and stares.
Chaos lands next to him.
Chaos: " I thought I was the only one of my kind. But here you are~ Another monster. Especially since I was alone in that lab... but I can't believe- ..... Well, whatever the reason, I think this is cause for a welcome. My name is Chaos"
Chaos opens his hand to shake. Franc looks at the hand
then slowly shakes it- "And what may I ask, is your name?"
Franc opens his mouth and chirps Francoeur but it is barely understandable. Thank goodness Chaos is flea and understands alittle, but scrunches his face.
Chaos: "Ohh... you can't talk can you?"
Franc shakes his head
.....
Chaos: -slaps his back- That's okay brother, who needs to talk human anyways? The best thing we can do is us fleas stick together. You and me, we can be a team. With my voice, and your.. your... well whatever you do.... You can be my lacky, and together we won't need to ever rely on humans, and create our own world. Who knows, there may be more of us out there! I mean, if there is you, maybe there is more of us! What do you say? Want to team up?
Franc looks down at hist flowers, and holds them out pointing and shaking his head.
Chaos: Oh... So you already got a place to go....
Franc nods.
Chaos: That is disgraceful. How can you accept living with humans? Better yet how can they accept you?
Franc:-sings a vocal- Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Chaos: YOU SING?!
Franc nods.
Chaos: Pathetic! So you are there pet?!
Franc shakes his head no D:>
Chaos: I can't... Argh! How miserable., they treat you. Argh. What a weakling you are -knocks Franc down, out of frustration, and shakes his head, facepalming himself-
A bottle of human potion falls out and begins to roll down the roof, Franc quickly leaps and grabs it. Chaos looks down at him.
Chaos: And What Is That?
Franc quickly tucks it against his chest.
Chaos: No seriously, what is that? Let me see.
Franc shakes his head no.
Chaos steps closer to crouching Franc,then kicks him off the cathedral. Franc falls but manages to land safely on his feet. Chaos jumps down, holding the bouquet.
Chaos: "What a lovely bunch of flowers. I bet you were going to give them to someone precious weren't you? Wouldn't it be ashamed if they were-" (he touches one rose with his hand around it then squeezes) "crushed.... like you?"
Franc: .... D: >
Chaos: So show me... What does that - points- do?
Franc looks at the potion, thinks about it, and drinks.
A puff of smoke explodes and floods the area, Chaos can't see and coughs. Franc runs the heck away out of the alley. Chaos looks up and sees the form of human Franc running far away. He doesn't follow but scratches his chin deep in though.
"Interesting..." ;D
Franc runs all the way back to home(Lucille's house) takes the key from under the mat, and gets in.
Lucille is sewing, making a new outfit for Franc, and doesn't look up," Welcome home Franc."
Franc:(who normally chirps back) "Thank you, Lucille."
Lucille pauses her sewing and looks up......
This is the first time she sees Franc as human.
"WHO ARE YOU?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!"
Franc: I'm Francoeur!
Lucille: You lie! Francoeur is... You are NOT Francoeur!! -gets up, and holds her chair as a barrier, shaking-
Franc: No No! I really am!! Um... Um.. Chirp Chirp? Argh, I can't do it in this form. But Raoul and I went to the professors lab, and made temporary human potions.
Lucille: -stares in disbelief- What?
Franc: I am sorry! So Sorry! -hunches down in a flea like position-
Lucille: ...... Francoeur?
Franc looks up at her pitifully. She looks into his eyes.
Lucille:
OH.. MY GOD....
..............................................
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!"-a pounding fist on a door-
Raoul opens the door in a big fluffy lightblue nightcloak..
Raoul: *yawn* (rubs his eye) I really don't like being woken up at 2 am in the morn- Oh, ah gentle mademoiselle.
Lucille looks angry as with her arms crossed in front of her.
Lucille: Raoul~ (she growls)
Raoul: Yes sugar pea?
Lucille: Do you care to explain-
(points to a Franc giving her a "I'm sorry dude face" behind her)
Lucille: What THIS is?!
Raoul: Um..... A lovely young man.... with a lovely little lady? <: D
Lucille: Don't be cute Raoul. This is serious! Francoeur as human. HUMAN!!
Raoul: I think he looks good that way.
Lucille: HUMAN!!!
Raoul: Heard you the first time.
Francoeur: Lucille, I wanted to be human.
Lucille: -looks at him- D: > Why?
Francoeur: so... um... I could...
Raoul: -leans against his door post with his hand on his head, and elbow supporting- A girl.
Lucille: -looks at Raoul- What?
Raoul: Lucille, lets be honest here. You haven't been paying attention at all to how he feels or has been acting different lately. The man is in love.
Lucille: Francoeur... is this... true?
Francoeur:
Yes... it is...
Lucille: Why didn't you tell me?
Raoul: Um... Lucille, he doesn't need to tell you "HEY LOOK! I'm IN LOVE!" As his close friend, you could have guessed by all the signs and the late nights getting home.
Lucille:
.... I guess I have been alittle selfish lately...
Francoeur: Lucille, don't blame yourself. You are right though. I should have told you at least something. I just didn't want to worry you...
Lucille: Are you happy?
Francoeur: What?
Lucille: Are you happy? Being human?
Francoeur:... Well.. Yes...
Lucille: Then that's all that matters. -looks up into his eyes-
Francoeur: .....
Lucille: No don't look sad. I am happy for you. I guess... I just... I always thought of you staying the way you are.... This is a big chunk to swallow... I liked you the way you were... I always thought that it wouldn't change...
But it isn't what I want... or what Raoul wants... or what anyone else wants... What matters is what you want. And if this is what you want, then I will support that.
Francoeur: Lucille....
Lucille: But Raoul....
This still does not excuse you.
Raoul: Geez! I'M SORRY already!
Lucille: Raoul, you better tell the professor everything you've done as soon as possible!
Raoul: Yes mother.
Francoeur: Raoul.... there is something else we also must tell the professor.
Raoul: And what is that?
Francoeur: We...
created another monster.
Raoul:..... Oh .... Well,... crap.
Lucille: -facepalm-
Scene blacks out.