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Post by siffyleafylav on Sept 6, 2011 15:40:35 GMT -5
First ficy themed "Blood" This will contain more chapters which I've already readied, but I would like some feedback ftrm you people; It helps to improve my English as well as my writting skillz. Enjoy! Attachments:
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luseylottay
Member 
Sexy Flea Monster
... *chirps happily*
Posts: 413
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Post by luseylottay on Sept 6, 2011 15:47:45 GMT -5
Ffff, THE BED WARS COMMENCETH -shot-
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Post by siffyleafylav on Sept 6, 2011 15:52:26 GMT -5
Second part! (VERY SHORT!) Attachments:
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luseylottay
Member
Sexy Flea Monster
... *chirps happily*
Posts: 413
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Post by luseylottay on Sept 6, 2011 17:18:52 GMT -5
That's... depressing as hell but so silly in the omg-something's-horribly-wrong way.
She must of nicked herself while shaving or the shampoo lid caught her (it's possible! it hurts 8C)
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Post by kazi15 on Sept 6, 2011 18:55:04 GMT -5
You can sort of tell just how innocent he is... ;D
Anyhow, two good pieces here, very well-written. Just wanted to ask though, will you be telling us what happens after that little second part?
"The rubber duck did not survive the fight." Do we even want to know...[Yes. Decidely yes.]?
And to something you mentioned in the first, about him kicking in his sleep, maybe we can get a story about that, from Lucile's point of view?
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Post by Patchlamb on Sept 6, 2011 19:24:15 GMT -5
Ooo, I very much like these! It would actually be very nice to see a fic about him kicking in his sleep, like Kazi said! Or something about the rubber duck (uh, has to do with a bath right?)!
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greys13
Member
UNE RENCONTRE EN MUSIQUE, POUR UN DUO INOUBLIABLE
Posts: 6
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Post by greys13 on Sept 7, 2011 18:11:27 GMT -5
You can sort of tell just how innocent he is... ;D Anyhow, two good pieces here, very well-written. Just wanted to ask though, will you be telling us what happens after that little second part? "The rubber duck did not survive the fight." Do we even want to know...[Yes. Decidely yes.]? And to something you mentioned in the first, about him kicking in his sleep, maybe we can get a story about that, from Lucile's point of view? That sounds very interesting but we must leave to the discretion of the author. To which I beg you please please next chapter your fan |
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comique
Member
Love born from song
Can never post anything right the first time.
Posts: 298
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Post by comique on Sept 7, 2011 18:55:14 GMT -5
Second part! (VERY SHORT!) WE NEED MOAR! oAo I love it but it just ENDS! Moar moar!! |
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Post by siffyleafylav on Sept 8, 2011 1:26:18 GMT -5
Good lord you duckies are eating this up like Christmas pudding! Here's the next, and feedback is HELPING! Attachments:
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Post by kazi15 on Sept 8, 2011 10:10:18 GMT -5
And then the freaking-out commences.  I wonder if Francoeur will tell her exactly why he took off, though I get the feeling that Lucile won't be too upset at him for his reason. Though some awkward questions might ensure if he asks her why she was bleeding.... |
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Post by siffyleafylav on Sept 8, 2011 13:27:05 GMT -5
And then the freaking-out commences. I wonder if Francoeur will tell her exactly why he took off, though I get the feeling that Lucile won't be too upset at him for his reason. Though some awkward questions might ensure if he asks her why she was bleeding.... Which is exactly WHY I've been a total airhead today: I can't seem to get it right! I would really like some feedback from you people, but I guese I could just brainstorm it and try winging it? |
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Post by kazi15 on Sept 8, 2011 13:42:24 GMT -5
Well, to start off, I think Francoeur would be a bit edgy when it comes to discussing his 'unusual eating habits', more or less because he was afraid that he might hurt Lucile [as you mentioned before]. Though I think he would say something if she was persistent.
Unless it's the 'why' part of what I said earlier, in which case I'm not really sure. How do you give an anthropomorphic flea The Talk?
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Post by siffyleafylav on Sept 8, 2011 14:01:10 GMT -5
Well, to start off, I think Francoeur would be a bit edgy when it comes to discussing his 'unusual eating habits', more or less because he was afraid that he might hurt Lucile [as you mentioned before]. Though I think he would say something if she was persistent. Unless it's the 'why' part of what I said earlier, in which case I'm not really sure. How do you give an anthropomorphic flea The Talk? With difficulty I suppose. |
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luseylottay
Member
Sexy Flea Monster
... *chirps happily*
Posts: 413
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Post by luseylottay on Sept 8, 2011 15:43:58 GMT -5
That was an adorable third chapter <3
SEE, THE POWER OF NOT BEING BALD!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -shot-
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Post by siffyleafylav on Sept 8, 2011 16:31:34 GMT -5
That was an adorable third chapter <3 SEE, THE POWER OF NOT BEING BALD! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -shot- I see no reason, you comment confuses even my alter-ego, and she's not even real. |
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